36 Hours: Montauk in Autumn

MONTAUK, New York ~ To spend a mere 36 hours in Montauk once seemed ridiculous; two months was barely enough. But now, in our twittery age, there are those who hope to refresh their minds and revive their spirits in hyper-mega-time. It never quite works that way.

Seven hours of sleep is simply what fills an obligatory empty slot in an ambitious escape agenda. But in Montauk, sleep is supernaturally healing. Leave the Ambien at home. Potent sleeping potions, aside from Patron tequila, are unnecessary. In Montauk, sleep is Big Magic and must be regarded as a joyful activity rather than mindless unconciousness.

In fall and winter there are hundreds of rooms for rent all over the hamlet, most of them in airy and reasonably clean buildings with good mattresses and working plumbing, many with small kitchens and cooking utensils. A few even have fireplaces in seperate cottages. The summer rates for a night, until checkout at 11 a.m. or so the next day, range from $100 on upward. After Labor Day and before Memorial Day, the rates are decreased as the temperature drops, if you bargain a bit.

If you enjoy the tried and true, there is an historic 80-year-old hotel called Gurney’s Inn (631-668-2345; www.gurneysinn.com). It’s the seaside legacy of the Monte dynasty from Brooklyn via Calabria. In 1956, Nick Monte bought the dune-side property from the Maude Gurney family for $200,000. Every year he added a new deck or two to his dream ship. Nick was fascinated by the ocean and he believed in its healing and preserving powers. He drank a strong shot of Montauk ocean water every morning. Despite this ritual, at age 92 he died. His ashes were scattered from a biplane over the ocean in front of his luxury liner of an inn. The panorama of the ocean and the beach from the grand dining room’s enormous windows inspires a grin of pure appreciation, especially when the gold and ruby sun blazes over the eastern horizon at sunrise. Rooms with ocean views in season run from $500 to $600 a night including meal credits at the inn. September and October, however, are the best of times, and the prices are fair.

In the autumn, a brunch may be ears of just-picked Long Island cream-and-sugar corn, ripe red local tomatoes, Bell peppers and mushrooms sautéed in olive oil, followed by a chilled chocolate chip brownie from The Montauk Bake Shoppe (across the street from the shingle-sided Chamber of Commerce house).

So a September or October Montauk day meanders on:

2:00 to 3:00 p.m. Ride or walk into town for a gander at the stores. The Corner Store is neatly and fully stocked with newspapers, toys, silly souvenirs and minor personal necessities. In shops like Montauk Dazies (631-668-6000) and Calypso (631-668-3420) in town, and Summer Stock (631-668-3243) at Gosman’s dock, a woman can find pretty and well-made summer clothing. Becker’s Hardware (631-668-2368) store and White’s Liquor Store (631-668-2426) in town, and Pier Group (631-668-4319) at Gosman’s dock carry almost any sporty clothing a man needs. For Montauk-created sandals for everyone, visit Kai-Kai (www.kaikaisandal.com) in town or at the dock.

Until 4 p.m. Ride over the ridge to the Long Island Sound side and climb the wooden stairs to Topside (631-668-2549; www.gosmans.com) on the inlet at Gosman’s dock. The busy harbor scene is sapphire blues and bleached whites, punctuated by the swoops and cries of gulls. The beer on tap is frosty; the food is clean, tasty and served by personable, well-schooled waiters who share your good luck at being there. It’s wise to take a windbreaker to Topside, and it is a royal treat to order the biggest lobsters and share them.

4:15 to 7 p.m. Say hello again to Montauk Morpheus in a hammock (there is probably one swinging free nearby) and if a mist or a chill wind from Canada blows in, fall asleep again in your breezy bunk and hear the music of the big waves.

7:30 until 11 p.m. Party. In Montauk the parties are inevitable. In order not to become part of one, you must slam shut your bedroom door and pull the dresser in front of it. You might join the grizzled homeys, the fishermen, and a flock of tourists, to dine at the Shagwong ~ “the Shag” for short. (631-668-3050; www.shagwong.com). In winter, the Shag is about the coziest bar and grill open in town and it’s funny sometimes crude in the Irish pub way. It’s the best place in town to be during World Cup soccer matches.

For seafood and sushi: The West Lake Clam and Chowder House, (631) 668-6252 is in a boatyard on Lake Montauk. It was a top-secret local hangout. Not now. It is worth adding yourself to the crowds at its two liquor bars. As you swig your Corona or sip your mojito, you can watch the sharp-knife guys from the fishing boats skin and fillet the just-caught striped bass, the doormat flounder, the blues and the tuna. Sushi is meticulously made at a separate bar. Warning: In the best Montauk establishments, turn off your cell phones or you will be pointedly denied service or shushed like a bratty child.

Groups of four+: The Harvest on Fort Pond (631-668-5574; www.harvest2000.com). Each dish (except a few) is meant to satisfy at least four hearty appetites. The tab will average roughly $50 per person, and most will think that’s fine. Excellent drinks, although 20 percent overpriced. Appetizers (in large portions) include an elegant, crisply fried calamari salad, barbequed thin lamb chops, and ripe tomato pizza.

For Barbeque: The Crabby Cowboy Café (631-668-3200; www.crabbycowboy.com) sets the bar for Montauk barbeque, and it’s North Carolina high. To add to the drama, the Crabby is located at the end of the Montauk Airport runway on which buzzy propeller airplanes take off and land. If you are in the mood for sweet, properly smoked, caramelized, hand-pulled pork butt barbeque plus many of the Carolina trimmin’s, you will feel at home.

Fine and Easy: Call Herb’s Market (631-668-2335; www.herbsmontaukmarket.com) and order an amazing deep-fried chicken (or two) with a side dish of macaroni and American cheddar cheese with a green leafy salad, Paul Newman salad dressing and a decadent chocolate brownie from The Montauk Bake Shoppe (631-668-2439; www.montaukbakeshoppe.com). Add something potable from White’s Liquor and Wine Store (631-668-2426), where Dr. Tom will recognize your desires and prescribe what’s best within your budget. Return to your quarters for a moveable feast.

The fine and easy way is to buy a pair of flank steaks and a pair of cut-up raw chickens from Herb’s. Marinate them in Gaucho Green Chimmi-Churri sauce, grill them in the Weber charcoal kettle along with fresh pineapples and corn on the cob, and invite your neighbors over. They’ll probably bring a glorious chopped salad and two bottles of 12-year-old Cragganmore scotch and Maker’s Mark bourbon whiskey, and funny little pipes. Considerable laughter and philosophical merriment will fill the air.

10:30 p.m.: Shoot a stick of pool at The Memory Motel or Salivars. The table at The Memory (631-668-2702) is home to the most dangerous local sharks, so don’t, unless you are also a shark, ever wager for money. It costs $2 a game and the table’s open every night except Friday and Saturday, when there are bands playing. Why close it then? “Because it’s crowded those nights,” explained the bartender, “and it can get violent when somebody fucks with a pool shot.” At Salivars (631-668-2555) it’s $2 a game. Don’t simply open the ladies room door in order to make a shot from the upper right hand corner of the table. Yes, you cannot draw your stick back more than a few inches if the door is closed, but always knock first.

11:30 p.m. Fall deliciously asleep again in your bunk to the melodies of the Montauk night, while the ocean laps gently or crashes on the beach, the rain slaps and spatters on the sand, the wild lightning and thunderstorms rage and rumble through, the oak and shad leaves rustle in the winds, the whippoorwills and owls cry and hoot in the darkness, and the English song sparrows gossip and chirp at crack of celestial dawn.

6:30 a.m. Awaken, take an outdoor shower or other ablutions, go to breakfast at John’s Pancake House (631-668-2383). Most popular choices in this clean, well-lighted place are the banana pancakes and the egg white Montauk omelets. The secret winners, however, are the chocolate chip pancakes and the rustic extra crispy canned corned beef hash with Tabasco sauce and sunny-side up eggs. The wait staff is a clever corps de ballet with memories as un-forgetful as elephants. Expect to wait for a table after 9 a.m. John’s is the only sure-fire place in town to see celebrities, and stars are treated with the same flippant respect as anyone else.

8:30-10:30 a.m. Rain or shine, spend two hours strolling and brainstorming on the Ditch Plains beach. Watch the surfers, walk the tide line for roughly 1,000 yards either east or west to the other-worldly, 60+ feet tall Montauk palisades of glacial till. The soil is chock full of big boulders and deeply eroded goblin niches. The shore beneath the palisades is a rattletrap of rounded rocks that chatter together in the waves. You can walk at the foot of the palisades or climb small paths that lead to a trail along the top. Local sculptors habitually build fantastic, fascinating and sometimes very funny constructions of beach rocks, sticks, and the mysterious flotsam and jetsam that is marooned ashore.

11 a.m. Swim, shower, prepare three flank steak and pork sandwiches for the road, with fresh tomato slices, honey, salted butter and Dijon mustard on fresh-baked croissants from the Bake Shoppe.

1 p.m.: Pay respects to President George Washington, who in 1792 commissioned the Montauk Lighthouse (631-668-2544). Circle near, then cruise slowly back west on 27 through the shad forests where a century ago Teddy Roosevelt encamped his Roughriders to quarantine them for smallpox after their missions in Cuba. Head further west to the tallest crest of the Hither Hills. From a roadside lookout you can see the low wetlands in the dunes where in 1938 the hurricane-whipped Atlantic broke through to Gardiner’s Bay and made Montauk an island for many months.

Basics:

The Long Island Rail Road (www.mta.info/lirr/html/ttn/montauk.htm) runs about 10 daily trips to Montauk from Penn Station and vice versa. The early train gets to Montauk at 3:57 a.m. A train leaves Montauk on weekdays as late as 10:58 p.m.

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The Hampton Jitney (www.hamptonjitney.com) offers about 20 trips to Montauk from four pickup spots on Manhattan, plus a few on Long Island, and about that many returns.

The Montauk Airport (www.airnav.com/airport/KMTP) has a 3,500-foot runway and is open during daylight from April through October. Handles small jets and helicopters.

There are several harbors and marinas including the Montauk Yacht Club (www.montaukyachtclub.com) that can professionally service boats up to 225 feet and 12-foot draft at 232 slips, plus feed and lodge the passengers.

If hunting for tuna, shark, striper, flounder, blues, cod and stray Gulf Stream denizens excites or relaxes you, go to (www.montauk-online.com) for fishing boat ads and recommendations. #